Just returned from Taipei City Hall, where I watched Brazil beat Germany with 200,000 of my closest sweaty Taiwanese friends. In Taiwan, like in the rest of the world (besides the US) the World Cup is a really big deal, and here, everyone watched it all month long. Tonight, City Hall was packed to the gills, and one of Taiwan’s most famous singers came and sang at halftime. (actually, she is Singaporian) For some reason, everyone was rooting for Brazil, as though the Taiwanese hadn’t forgiven Germany for being part of the Axis during WW2 or something. When Brazil scored their first goal, the place exploded. There was one girl standing next to me who was rooting for Germany though, and she kept saying the Chinese phrase for encouragement, which roughly translated means, “Step on the gas!” I guess Germany had no more gas, and now, the World Cup is over. How sad. . .
Archive for June, 2002
Hello from hot swampy Taipei, where even during a drought, the humidity is suffocating. I think I’m making progress in my Chinese (even though most of the time it doesn’t seem like I am) because I was watching the news today and I was able to ascertain that if it doesn’t rain soon, Taipei will run out of water sometime in July. As it is, we’re on a 6-days-on/1-day-off water schedule. Thank goodness that my relatives have a water tower, because if they didn’t, I’d be stuck without a shower once a week. And considering that I get soaked with sweat walking the 2 block to class from the bus stop at 7:30 am, that would suck ass. I’m thinking of moving into the Sogo department store to stay cool.
Not that anyone cares, but I do actually have a cell phone here in Taiwan. My number is (09) 26126230. (country code sold separately) As it turns out, most everyone does, including some of the stray dogs on the street. Ha, ha, just kidding. Dogs don’t use phones, silly! Anyway, it’s my cousin Adrian’s phone, I’m just borrowin’ it for the summer. If you call me, odds are that I will be in the Audio center. After two days, I have learned many things, including the utter hopelessness of my struggle to learn Chinese. Man, it’s been two days, and I am fried!
Well, today is the first day of official classes. The program I am in, the ICLP has small classes, so of the three that I have, two have 4 students each, and the other is one-on-one. I’ve had two thus far, and I have been totally stoked! I guess when you pay $3000 to learn a language, you’d better be stoked, but as the teachers were describing what we were going to do, I was totally like, “MORE, MORE, MORE!” Perhaps this is because right now, being in Taiwan, speaking to native speakers, it is quite apparent that my Chinese skills are pitiful. It’s embarrasing. I feel like Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man, except with out the savant qualities and slightly less rocking.
In an article in the New York Times, it is noted that Alaska is suffering the very real effects of global warming, where the average temperature has risen 7 degrees in the past 30 years. This change has had profound ecological, social and economic effects on the state, which is perhaps why Senator Ted Stevens, a Republican from the said state, was quoted in the article as saying, “Alaska is harder hit by global climate change than any place in the world.” I would just like to take this opportunity to point out that Senator Ted Stevens is a moron. Why? Because while moaning about the effects of climate change, he continues to support additional oil drilling in ANWR, the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge. See this press release. This is a major point of President Bush’s moronic “energy policy” which relies solely on adding additional sources of oil, with no consideration at all to conservation. What, Senator Stevens, do you suppose is the cause of global warming?
If you read my post about moto-scooters, you might have read that I hadn’t seen any deaths or maimings yet. Well stop the presses, cause today during a long walk in downtown Taipei, I saw an old lady get hit by a car!. I took only one pic, cause she looked like she was hurt pretty bad, and I didn’t want to seem an ass. She was crossing at a crosswalk, (with the signal) when she was hit by a dude making a left turn. She was carried off the street by Mr. I’m-in-a-hurry, and she was conscious, so I guess that’s pretty good, all things considered.
A big problem for Taiwan is that, despite the fact that according to the CIA factbook there are over 22 million people living here, the place is simply not fit for human habitation. Taipei is basically a city in a jungle. It’s humid and hot, as you might expect, but perhaps worse, it is simply infested with insects, many of which I fought a personal battle with last night. You see, they installed a new air conditioner in the room I’m staying in yesterday, and when they pulled the old one from the wall, hell, in the form of a small hornet’s nest in the AC unit, was unleashed. In order to get the hornets out of the house, we had to use those electric fly swatters, except that they were powerless against such large insects. Well, not powerless, but let’s just say that the hornets and I (and my cousin’s wife) were evenly matched. It was touch and go for a while, (the AC installation guy was such a big chicken – he totally ran away) but eventually we prevailed. Except that last night at 4, I woke up with 6 mosquito bites. We had opened the screen for a few minutes to get the hornets out, you see. As I have already mentioned, Taipei is in an uninhabitable jungle, and the jungle is angry. I eventually killed the 4 mosquitoes which had infiltrated the house, as well as the one remaining hornet which had escaped detection. Anyway, it took 2 hours. Taiwanese mosquitoes are very tricky, and it took all of my considerable mosquito tracking powers. In the words of Gandalf, “I have never met such a challenge.”
Today my cousin Adrian took me on my first moto-scooter ride of this trip. Traffic in Taiwan works on a similar principle to the laws of nature in the ocean, except that here, the rule is “The big vehicle runs over the smaller vehicle.” If bicycles are the plankton, then moto-scooters are the sardines and anchovies. Despite my reservations of impending death, the ride was quite a blast. When you get to a red-stoplight at a big intersection in Taipei, all these moto-scooters percolate to the line like cars in those old 60’s rallys. And when the light turns green, they all take off with a hilarious roar of 150cc-or-smaller (the legal limit in Taiwan) scooter engines. I’m going to try to get a picture of this sometime. It’s cool.
Also, contrary to the conventional thinking in the oh-so-orderly West, there IS a logic behind the traffic patterns in Taiwan. Furthermore, people are suprisingly considerate. Let’s say, for example, that I’m in a car, and I need to merge. You’re in a scooter, and you are in the lane I want to be in. Well, a car is bigger than a scooter, isn’t it? That means that I am going to merge, and if that means that I just cut you off, well, that was very considerate of you to let me in. Allow me to thank you by not killing you. I’m serious. That’s how it works. It’s a different philosophy, but it works pretty well, and I have seen no deaths or maimings since I have been here.
Did I mention that there are Starbucks everywhere in Taiwan?
Greetings from sunny Taipei, Taiwan. After a grueling last day of packing and storage-ing in San jose, I hopped on a flight to Taipei, via Vancouver. Many hours later, here I am. Nothing much to report thus far, stay tuned for more updates. . .
Here are the results from my triathalon. I finished 254 out of 262, which would be 8th place, if we were counting from the end. By that measure, Justin would be something like 210.